I have a new motto: "Walk like a woman, fight like a man."

Such a heart-wrenching story I have for you, about two friends torn apart by the vanity of one.

Okay, that was dramatic. So this may be a little confusing if you don't play World of Warcraft, or if you don't know anything about it, so just try to keep up :-P

Yes, I've started playing WoW, and I am not ashamed. Mostly because I was a die-hard WarCraft fan to begin with, so shut up. I have a right to this. Its my inheritance. Also my fiance has played it for literally as long as we've been together.

Any way. The first character I made was a male Tauren. I didn't like playing a male though, so I made a female Tauren because the Tauren female was the only female that didn't look weird. Well, I mean, she's a cow, so of course she looks weird. She's suppose to look weird. When I pick a character that's supposedly one of the "sexier" races and her hands are as long as her forearms that's... uh... weird. I know, I know, I'm picky.

Any way I wanted an Alliance character as well, and I decided a female Draenei would do. I chose warrior as my class and I was fairly happy with her. I nick named her "goat girl" even though her name was Lilyn. (Draenei have horns and hooves like goats). She was kind of like a cute little pet to me.

And then... oh, that fateful day. Well, hour. Okay fateful half hour or less because this is like one of the first quests you get.

Here we go to kill some "vile mutations" or what not. We find one. We boldly attack and, what does she do? Prances. Like, for real - when we were walking around the crash site earlier and she was prancing, I was all like, yeah, you go girl, all the male Draenei gone be fallin' all over you. That's my girl!

Buy seriously, who the hell is concerned with prancing like a loopy headed fool trying to impress a man while they slam their bastard sword into the slimy head of a sickly mutation? I mean, really. Man up. I was embarrassed. You act like that, you don't need a sword. Learn to prioritize, woman!

Okay, so actually I was just being weirded out by the fact the only female character I could find who looked like me had horns and hooves. =/ I don't know what that says about me, but it doesn't seem like a good thing.

So I deleted her.

I had a dream this morning, and that's the real point of all this. Its the only real reason I'm updating my journal, really, so here we go:

- - -

I sat in my yard meditating. By meditating, I mean that I was thinking deeply. My eyes were closed, my head bowed. But the meditation itself was far from spiritual. My focus was directed towards the near future, trying to reconcile myself now before I faced a bigger problem later.

My eyes suddenly snapped open as I heard the rustle of leaves on the forest floor. [I live quite literally in a forest]. I was use to the sound animals make, but this was different. Like something walking upright, and much to quickly to be human. I instinctively rose to my feet, prepared to run or defend myself, whichever worked best. Halfway up, something inside my head screamed a warning and I dove towards the ground in front of me. I heard something large collide in the air behind me with a loud SMACK. Rolling over on my back, the voice that had guided me before was suddenly gone, but I wasn't alone.

The shimmering white figure of a woman stood between me and the whatevers lying on the ground. Her features were impossible to make out. Both intensely bright and transparent, she looked like she were made up solely of light. I could somehow tell, though, that she was staring down at me with a worried expression. It looked - felt - like she might ask if I was alright, but instead she grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet, leading me into the forest with such force it didn't matter whether I wanted to go or not. It was all I could do to stay on my feet and keep from being dragged wherever.

We came to what I could only call a gap in the earth. The huge, seemingly endless opening was surrounded by what looked like upside-down tree roots. Curiosity got the better of me and I stepped up to the very edge, looking down. I saw nothing. Literally. I was convinced in that moment there was no end to the darkness in whatever the thing was. With a shudder I stepped back, and shook my head as if refusing something. The spirit, as I had named her, gave me an apologetic look. Without warning she shoved me forward and I fell tumbling into the darkness.

How long I fell, I have no idea. I was not scared. I don't even think I was aware of my surroundings. Or myself. Or that I was alive, or dead, or anything. I didn't know, I didn't care. Eventually I hit water. Cold water. And unexpectedly, too. I pushed off from the bottom and gasped for air, shivering. I could barely see anything. Far above me was a speck of light. Had I fallen -that- far? Impossible. But then, nothing that had happened before then had seemed possible, either. There was a soft green glow coming from somewhere to my right but it did little good, as the cave-like rock walls surrounding the water were pitch black.

Noticing how small the area around me was, and how there didn't seem to be any way out, I nearly panicked. The voice that had been there before returned, saying nothing but calming me with its presence. It guided me wordlessly to the soft green glow, which I realized upon closer inspection was really some sort of sci-fi looking lamp. It was shaped like an egg and there was a golden handle at its larger end. Something prompted me to look down, and with the light so close I could see that on this end of the cave just beneath the weater was a large tunnel. Deciding if I was going to drown I'd rather drown now than later, I picked up the lamp and dove under the water, swimming into the tunnel.

It wasn't long before I got to the other end. I was in a cave, with a small pool of water and sand. There was an opening directly in front of me. It was that small I had to crawl through it, and for a moment I was afraid I'd get stuck. My desire to be out of the tight space was greater than my fear of getting stuck, though, and I eventually made my way out. I heard a loud crunching sound behind me and turned to look. The opening was gone. It wasn't like I'd really had a choice before, but the finality of that left an impression on my mind. It said I had to keep going, and there was absolutely -nothing- I could do about it.

I stood and looked around. Due to the sand in the cave I'd expected to find myself on a beach. Instead, I was in a towering pine forest, with very little undergrowth and a small pool of water to my left, barely large enough to be called anything more than a puddle. It was fed by a very small waterfall that fell over the rocks above the pool. Through the trees I could see mountains, far eough away they didn't look like much more than dark clouds on the horizon.

I jumped, startled to to hear a woman's voice from my right. Soft, and relatively deep, it said: "I suppose you'll be my other one, then. We've been expecting you." It sounded both intimidating and friendly, and familiar. But before I could turn to see who'd said it, I woke up.


- - -

I sort of lost my will to make that writing worth a crap after a few paragraphs. It was such a stupidly long dream. I was more concerned with adding every detail I could remember than making it sound pretty. It was not a dream in the normal sense. I wasn't completely asleep when I'd had it. I'd just woken up. I was half asleep, so to say. I didn't imagine it, though, I just saw it as it happened. Felt it as it happened. A couple of times I nearly lost track of it. Those were the times when my brain started trying to think. Both times I told myself to stop thinking and just see what happened. When I did that, I was able to see the dream again.

- - -

Oh, and, last but not least. Turns out, the English screw up, too. Royally, in fact. HA! Get it? English. Screw up. ROYALLY! Because... they... they have a queen and.... and she's royal... so the English... screw up royally. That's funny right? Well pretend it is anyway and read this:

[link]

And I can make fun of the English because I'm marrying one.

- - -

Phew, what a long journal. Have yourself a piece of cake or something. Oh man. I've lost feeling in my leg. AGAIN.

Okay I'm going to take a shower now before I let WoW consume my brain again.

Its still almost a month till my birthday, but I've already gotten the best present. My awesome fiance bought me a computer, then my parents upgraded it to a package so I got a monitor and printer as well. I did put some of my own money down to make sure I got the best possible, but it was still mostly their doing. My favorite part is the dual-core processor (2GHz) and the 17" widescreen LCD monitor. It might not seem that great to some of you out there, but my last two machines had an Intel Pentium III 800MHz and an AMD processor of some sort with 1GHz. Not cool.

My first move was to download Pirates Online, then install Fable, an old favorite of mine I couldn't play after I got rid of my xbox, and now I'm getting ready for WoW. Also looking to buy Morrowind, another of my xbox favorites I miss severely.

So, between work and games, I haven't been on much. My apologies. Hope everyone is well xD

Still (very) annoyed and still avoiding deviantART, though not as chronically as before. I will start uploading things and commenting again, but only on weekends until my job slows down. I may start taking a sketch pad or something and drawing during lunch break though, to give my mind a break from the purgatory we call "collating". At least I can't complain about being poor anymore.

Problems of late and I wish to avoid conflict. I will not be on dA for however long. See you when I see you.